EPILEPTICS: THE LEAST LAZY AND THE MOST EFFICIENT

Epileptics may sit at home and we may hear everything that’s going on around us, thinking of the possibilities that we can do, but others are asked instead and they do nothing that is requested of them.

Epileptics don’t need to point their fingers at anyone because we know those that are wrong and who are right when we hear questions that are asked of others to do, as easy and as simple as anything, but, yet refuse to as they think that they are right when everyone else around knows that they are not. Without saying a word, they just try to blow it over, but they don’t realize (or do realize more than not) that it does stay on the shoulders and heads of other people that they obviously do not care about family, friend or foe.

Epileptics wish to be asked to do the jobs that are asked of others, especially when the questions that are being asked go ignored, the task is not done well, or if done is left a mess for others to clean up and finish. But, we know what the reasons are for us never being asked: To keep us safe and secure, and silent.

Some think we are no good for many jobs.

Epileptics over the years began to look worthless, mindless, sometimes helpless even, and laughed at when we try push ourselves to limits that are not actually set by us, but by other people. This can make us feel more depressed day by day when we know that none of these issues are actually true at all. We know that we are better, resourceful, helpful and of value more then they will ever know.

Epileptics for that matter, CAN and WILL help others with problems, both small and severe that are in need, have faith, and request it to make sure their dreams DO come true, far from an unfair life! We will fight our entire lives to make a difference and we will never give up, no matter the obstacles that come our way.

So make sure you always remember that Epileptics are far from lazy and are here to help anyone who needs it the safest way they can!

SOMETHINGS ARE MEANT FOR A REASON, EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO!

Somethings indeed are meant for a reason and should truly be thought about or over or something bad may come of it. Again nobody knows when, why, where or what, but if you are smart you will learn that somethings may need to be thought over deeply when we find ourselves down on the ground, smashed face first with which could have been the end of our days alive!

For me this all occurred on October 29th when my wife was desperately wanting to leave at 9p.m. to a pumpkin festival in Old Westbury Gardens, LI, to see The Rise of The Jack O’Lanterns. Lets cut back three weeks to October 8th, the night my brothers Michael, his wife Despina and Anthony were supposed to meet us out at the park together as a group when situations started to occur. Apparently Despina was feeling sick, Michael wasn't feeling up to it, and Michelle and Anthony were the only ones wanting to go anyway. I refused myself on going that weekend as well, or at all, but she didn't give in to her temptation to go. But then and there just before we left I asked for a protein shake to make myself, something I always ask Michelle to make for me, but on that day, at that very moment before drinking it, I plastered myself from head to toe, and it was like pouring glue on myself. My arms, hands, and jeans where locked shut, and I was confused. Although my confusion turned bad when I heard the yelling. My wife stayed in the kitchen, my parents and brothers were called over to find out what the problem was, and found me soaked and quite angry, I removed my clothes in our bedroom and found myself hysterically crying in my corner bedroom leather chair. Everyone went home that day trying to figure me out; not an easy thing to do to for an epileptic. 

And this is the Point of the story, if I had given it a better thought this may not have happened, and if I was the size of my two younger brothers, Michael or Anthony, I for sure would have been killed off many times already. My other brother Chris as well, even though we are very close in size and shape, he would not be able to control these problems the way I do, for sure. But on Saturday, October 29th, was my first fall face down - I hit my chin, jaw, nose, forehead and knees. There were families - Good Samaritans - all around making sure that I was safe, yet bleeding from my almost broken chin and jaw, battered teeth  and nose. Before I was helped up I was worried about if any children or parents had been hurt by me. No one was, but Michelle had a slight cut on her left  knee from trying to grab me from behind.

I was was helped up with one of the guards walking on my right leg and limping on my left back to get attended to by a medical technician who said himself that “All these lights here and flashing phones and cameras for pictures is a seizure waiting to happen”. Michelle and I had told him that we had been here for three years now, but this time all the lights were way brighter then in the past. 

My chin was swollen, my inner bottom lip as well, my teeth, my jawline, my right arm and left knee hurting so bad that I couldn't tell for the life of me what was possibly  A. Broken  B. Smashed in (teeth) C. A bit off tongue and lip and D. A broken leg.

All things that are possible after a seizure like this happens and I remember being asked if we wanted to go back out there. Michelle and I yelled out, “Are you Crazy”!! Well Michelle did the talking, I did the look of, ‘Can we get the hell out of here now’, rolling my eyes of remorse to her. I was rolled out of the park to our car in a wheelchair with a medic holding an oxygen tank and a mask strapped over my face to breath through.  

 I was able to get into our car, with help by the medic, and there was only one thing going off in my mind, which was, ‘Why didn't I listen to the one who was trying to keep me home that day, why was I so foolish in making such wrong decisions, when the one that was trying to keep me safe that day was God’! This was not my idea, but I agreed to for my wife, even though I was tired already, would it of been such terrible idea to say no. NO, but she already spent money from a few weeks prior, I didn’t want her to waste money again, but is money ever a waste? It was nothing other then wasting a life away on a $30 pumpkin field trip!

All in all, when starting a new medication on top of the five already that I’m on, there is no stupider idea of doing something out of the ordinary when you know that horrible things may, and will happen by not trusting yourself in understanding that for epileptics and others of conditions, fighting away death is an everyday, every hour, every minute to second war!

You mustn't let the problem you suffer from beat you, especially when it has anything to do with your brain, which no doctor will ever understand the meaning of, besides God! 

And you can trust me mostly when I tell you that the Lord is on my side, and yours, because death could have come to me in so many different ways already, but I am here today, and will be tomorrow, with ways to keep you safe and away from trouble with stupid ideas of foolish for nothing activities. And if you are wondering still if I am in one piece, face included, I can tell you absolutely Yes, but I will never do something like that ever again, so be smart about your future decisions in life because Somethings Do Happen For A Reason, Even If You Don't Think So! 

ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR FIRST INSTINCT!

If there is a question in your head and you are wondering what it is that you should be doing, whether medication or something that has been building up inside of you and you feel the right thing to do, then for your own safety, and others, DO IT! 100% of the time we think back to why didn't I just do it, because the life you live - your life, is not known to anyone but yourself - Not your doctor, not your guardians or family members who try to point you in the right direction when you wake up the next day beating yourself up on what the right thing to do is. And it is more than often always what you chose not to do in the first place. 

My own life for instance is a perfect example of how to do what is right when you know that the circumstances may be horrible until you share your thoughts out loud with a listener and the  knowledge you had and didn't run with may affect the way you live. Falling down to the floor again and again after waking up out of bed feeling perfectly fine like any other person more normal then you is just not the way for any epileptic like myself live by. We must take advantage of the life that we have by not choosing to do the wrong things when we understand what we should have done, and yet didn't!

Some of us will get up, stand on our own two feet while checking for cuts and bruises, bumps and dents to our faces, foreheads, front and backs  in pain from accidents that we did not cause, but need to live with. We can thank God that when we do get up off of the floor, that we are still for One: In one piece and telling yourself and/or others that you will be okay and healed, but Secondly: That no one else was injured or hurt around you. The second is a much greater deal to myself and others that your loved ones stay behind you so that not one person, including yourself, will have problems to deal with later in life, praying to God that there will be a later in life, for yourself and the ones you care the most about. 

Back to today's point at hand though, is that I have started a new medication and was dictated to take the one extra dose the very next day. The night before when I had a little Halloween party with my three brothers and sister in law, everything went really well. But, more seriously was the thought that I had as the movies played in taking a new medication just one day ahead of schedule, which would have been no big deal to my neurologist if I had, and yet, I didn't. The next morning came along and I was tossed and turned, from left to right, back and forward again, when Michelle saw me fall forward, away from her, thinking that I had broken my nose, but once again I turned myself over, nothing broken as she had thought, but just battered a bit. Once I was seated in my bathroom chair I was so much more concerned about her than I. As she patched me up with band-aids on my right arm only with strains to my back and neck as usual - something that almost never goes away, I kept asking her the same question, that if she had gotten hurt at all. Thankfully she was not, as in past situations due to my more serious seizure effects. 

I later in the day told her, once I was feeling totally well again, that I wanted to start the new medication a day ahead of time, and she said "that if that the was the way that you felt, that you should always choose your first instinct, and possibly things like this would not have happened!" I couldn't  agree with her more about anything else going on in my life, especially the obvious. But, aside from the five medications that I have been taking, and still on as of today, the other was supposed to have interactions with just one, which no medical drug has ever given me problems before besides Topomax, that I was given at NYU back about 15 years which was stopped completely due to my weight loss of about 20 pounds in a week. 

 I have still been trying hard to level out each of the medications with my neurologist and his team at NYU Langone Medical Center. Everything has been difficult and rough, to say the least, and for my wife as well who has tried and tried her best for me and my condition. She has kept in touch with Josh Stanley through emails and phone calls ever since we met up with him here in New York last year as you may have read in my past entry which ties and pulls us into my next story of what has now almost fully become legal in NY, but not all states yet, from Colorado. Something quite special which seems so far to be showing positive signs - called Charlotte's Web! 

Stay Tuned for my next blog in November which is also National Epilepsy Month!