PRAISE FOR THE WISE

BLESSED ARE THE WISE AT HEART,

FOR THEIRS WILL BE SAVED,

BY THE HAND OF THE LORD

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

There comes a time in a person’s life when he or she wants to share their stories or problems with others so that they can reach out to other individuals before we realize that that time we wish to have runs out, and there is nobody else capable of telling these lifelong stories but themselves. These are the more then major things that have happened to me, but I did not know yet when or how to share them due to the intensity of some of them. (Please be aware though that these stories are not all, so to say, peachy, as they are down to earth)!

There are reasons of why I am alive today, why I can share the knowledge that I have about my serious conditions with you. My life has been a battle of ups and downs, struggles and sacrifices, schools, bullies, sports teams, you name it. But, my mentality has never escaped me as is; I WANT TO AND CHOOSE TO DO BETTER, WORK HARDER SO THAT THE TIME WILL COME WHEN I CAN HELP ANOTHER LIVING SOUL IN NEED!

Blessed are they who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

I have been pushed to my limits many times repeatedly and have not succumbed to them, all of them, along with some of the amazements that even my own doctors didn’t see coming. From absence (Petit Mal) seizures to generalized Tonic-Clonic (Grand Mal) seizures to almost being killed on a bicycle over a street divider thrown into on-coming cars and only breaking my left collateral (collar bone) when I was thirty riding to see my future wife.

Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the land.

This was the my first and only bone ever to be broken, and I remember these things like it was yesterday. I opened my eyes laying there on the ground, my front wheel bent, not spinning, with five cars around me. About ten Good Samaritans, almost all of them said that they had family members with the same problems (once I told them) helping me up calling for an ambulance. But they could see that there was a problem, something wrong with myself, a normal pedestrian. All I wanted was to do was rise like I always did and say thank you for the help! They said to stay down, your hurt, and we already called for help. My biking helmet still on, secure, but that was the very last time I road my $1,400 Specialized mountain bicycle, or anything on wheels ever again. I never wanted to see a bike, especially that bike, from the memory of almost being killed. But my brother Michael wanted to fix it for himself, so I let him have it, although it mostly just stayed put in the garage where he left it.  

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be satisfied.

At 29yrs of age, a broken collateral can be healed on its own, depending on the damage done, but at 30, it’s a nice steel bar with 9 long screws, 6 down and 3 across, which still hurts to this day, and will forever. Any pressure placed on it, mostly by Michelle’s arm being thrown over or across my head for a simple hug is too much. I already had a VNS in my left pictorial wired to my throat, which is a piece of metal that can never be removed. When I left that hospital, I felt more and more like Robocop, as I joked about with my friends. I was alive because I was smart, if I had not of been wearing my helmet, I would have fractured my head, face and jaw. Let’s just say that I would have died! But God knows that I am far smarter than the ones you see on the road today, riding bareheaded! 

Blessed are the merciful,

for they will be shown mercy.

And then the Grander of my falls which sealed the deal of me being watched 24/7/365, and to date:

The LIRR Train Track Incident of 2012!

Going into details about that haunts my parents, my father mostly still today who were there to see it happen. Nightmares of that day when the three of us were standing at the Auburndale Station one late afternoon and me checking to see for a train coming any time now. Something I did for years, alone. That day I thought that I would go again, without anyone’s help. We were the only three people there at the time on that platform, and when the signs say stay back, away from the tracks, you do it, because then something like this may happen! My mother cried for months about this accident and myself when telling me stories about my father crying in bed for nights trying to understand Why?

Blessed are the clean of heart,

for they will see God.

Why his son, a 200-pound healthy man can suddenly fall dead down onto a 6 foot drop railroad track smashing the right side of his body head first, as we thought at the time. A hero, my father, jumped down, helped me up, and we walked the entire other way of the train track, slower than ever, until we finally made it to an old wooden ladder that we could climb. With no train in sight.

I had blood that was gushing out of me from what I thought at the time was my chin. And we waited and waited and waited which seemed like forever until the ambulance finally arrived. I noticed a man and a woman with a stretcher, and the man was average in size, but the women looked like she could have been my young baby sister. I didn’t freak out, but I did ask if they were anyone else with them. I kept saying to myself “This is going to be interesting”, and I was right. Rolling me over and into that ambulance took a bit more time then I would have appreciated. And then there was the big question, “Where are we taking him, he’s epileptic!” They started with Booth Memorial, but in years past Booth has no idea what epilepsy is, not one neurologist on hand. So, my mother and I were fighting with them to take me into NYU, my hospital full of neurologists, and especially my own! But then the driver said “Where is it, how do I get there”? and he wasn’t kidding. I wanted to grab him by the throat and say, “What kind of a damn ambulance is this?”! I was obviously in no shape to. I rolled my eyes and my mother took control of things from there.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they will be called children of God.

Into NYU we went and my father was traveling right behind us. We were still confused, nobody had an answer, and I was still bleeding profusely. But my face was fine, it had already been cleaned from inside the ambulance. My head on the other hand, was not good and different doctors told me different stories. The facts though, first was that the blood that hadn’t stopped was from blood in my brain. The second, was that my shoulders, broader than most, hit the ground before my head hit the track, saving my life, but it wasn’t done with yet. Another doctor said that he noticed a crack in the back of my scull.

After that I spent a couple of weeks in NYU having to flush the blood build up out of that same ear, while keeping my head to its side. Draining the blood out was a job that had to be done by myself, under supervision, without doctor’s tools or surgeries, just check-ups (This had to be done at home for a long time until the blood was completely drained out, in bed. This went on for a year, and some)!       

Now, this one doctor’s assumption and observation of my fractured cracked skull could have been wrong, but he may have been right as well. This is because that first night on that bed at NYU, without a doctor or nurses visit, was healed. That morning when doctors and nurses started to pile in, testing me about the usual, Name, Day, Time, How many fingers and such. I answered all their questions correctly and then when they checked the condition my head was in, they were all confused and amazed at the same time. I was just waiting to hear what the plan was now, yet I was not afraid of what they were about to say, and then I heard them chit-chatting like all doctors and nurses do, that it’s okay, he’s good. And then telling me that my head was healed, with wide opened eyes!

The blood although, persisted, and to this day on I find blood every day in my ear and more in my nostrils. Everything that comes blown onto a rag has dry and crusty blood, more than the average gook which is expected.  

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,

for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.

The major falls continued throughout 2012, but this time it was in my bathroom, again. An metal heater can do great damage if it is fallen on and can slice the not so fortunate up like falling on shards of glass. I had four staples shot in my head to prove it. I was very lucky to of not been severely hurt, it hurt a lot less going in than coming out. It’s not a string, and it needs to be pulled out medically with a pair of pliers. For a word of advice, make sure that there is a man in the room, or a tough woman who knows her stuff, because I had my head yanked round and round by another one that could have passed for my baby sister, again! Just goes to figure. I had enough and told the girl to find someone capable, and one, two, three, four, they popped out, with a man’s help! (my wifecushioned the heater right after to keep me protected from that ever happening again!).

Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you falsely because of me.

Rejoice and be glad,

for your reward will be great in heaven.

Once that was all over and done with, I wanted my first tattoo to be a rather large one of Jesus Christ on my right arm with my father’s name Arcangelo Fiacco under it, scribbled in professionally as ‘MY FATHER, MY HERO’, for lifting me off those train tracks, risking his own life, like all great fathers would do, before being killed on those tracks by an on-coming train. My great parents are still alive and healthy today, just a bit slower and very much more tired than before. But, that tattoo is still up in the air until I can fork-up $5,000 or more for it, just hoping that one day I will be wearing something about him for all to see! 

The Beatitudes as told by Jesus Christ at the Sermon on the Mount. Matthew Chapter 5

SOMETHINGS ARE MEANT FOR A REASON, EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO!

Somethings indeed are meant for a reason and should truly be thought about or over or something bad may come of it. Again nobody knows when, why, where or what, but if you are smart you will learn that somethings may need to be thought over deeply when we find ourselves down on the ground, smashed face first with which could have been the end of our days alive!

For me this all occurred on October 29th when my wife was desperately wanting to leave at 9p.m. to a pumpkin festival in Old Westbury Gardens, LI, to see The Rise of The Jack O’Lanterns. Lets cut back three weeks to October 8th, the night my brothers Michael, his wife Despina and Anthony were supposed to meet us out at the park together as a group when situations started to occur. Apparently Despina was feeling sick, Michael wasn't feeling up to it, and Michelle and Anthony were the only ones wanting to go anyway. I refused myself on going that weekend as well, or at all, but she didn't give in to her temptation to go. But then and there just before we left I asked for a protein shake to make myself, something I always ask Michelle to make for me, but on that day, at that very moment before drinking it, I plastered myself from head to toe, and it was like pouring glue on myself. My arms, hands, and jeans where locked shut, and I was confused. Although my confusion turned bad when I heard the yelling. My wife stayed in the kitchen, my parents and brothers were called over to find out what the problem was, and found me soaked and quite angry, I removed my clothes in our bedroom and found myself hysterically crying in my corner bedroom leather chair. Everyone went home that day trying to figure me out; not an easy thing to do to for an epileptic. 

And this is the Point of the story, if I had given it a better thought this may not have happened, and if I was the size of my two younger brothers, Michael or Anthony, I for sure would have been killed off many times already. My other brother Chris as well, even though we are very close in size and shape, he would not be able to control these problems the way I do, for sure. But on Saturday, October 29th, was my first fall face down - I hit my chin, jaw, nose, forehead and knees. There were families - Good Samaritans - all around making sure that I was safe, yet bleeding from my almost broken chin and jaw, battered teeth  and nose. Before I was helped up I was worried about if any children or parents had been hurt by me. No one was, but Michelle had a slight cut on her left  knee from trying to grab me from behind.

I was was helped up with one of the guards walking on my right leg and limping on my left back to get attended to by a medical technician who said himself that “All these lights here and flashing phones and cameras for pictures is a seizure waiting to happen”. Michelle and I had told him that we had been here for three years now, but this time all the lights were way brighter then in the past. 

My chin was swollen, my inner bottom lip as well, my teeth, my jawline, my right arm and left knee hurting so bad that I couldn't tell for the life of me what was possibly  A. Broken  B. Smashed in (teeth) C. A bit off tongue and lip and D. A broken leg.

All things that are possible after a seizure like this happens and I remember being asked if we wanted to go back out there. Michelle and I yelled out, “Are you Crazy”!! Well Michelle did the talking, I did the look of, ‘Can we get the hell out of here now’, rolling my eyes of remorse to her. I was rolled out of the park to our car in a wheelchair with a medic holding an oxygen tank and a mask strapped over my face to breath through.  

 I was able to get into our car, with help by the medic, and there was only one thing going off in my mind, which was, ‘Why didn't I listen to the one who was trying to keep me home that day, why was I so foolish in making such wrong decisions, when the one that was trying to keep me safe that day was God’! This was not my idea, but I agreed to for my wife, even though I was tired already, would it of been such terrible idea to say no. NO, but she already spent money from a few weeks prior, I didn’t want her to waste money again, but is money ever a waste? It was nothing other then wasting a life away on a $30 pumpkin field trip!

All in all, when starting a new medication on top of the five already that I’m on, there is no stupider idea of doing something out of the ordinary when you know that horrible things may, and will happen by not trusting yourself in understanding that for epileptics and others of conditions, fighting away death is an everyday, every hour, every minute to second war!

You mustn't let the problem you suffer from beat you, especially when it has anything to do with your brain, which no doctor will ever understand the meaning of, besides God! 

And you can trust me mostly when I tell you that the Lord is on my side, and yours, because death could have come to me in so many different ways already, but I am here today, and will be tomorrow, with ways to keep you safe and away from trouble with stupid ideas of foolish for nothing activities. And if you are wondering still if I am in one piece, face included, I can tell you absolutely Yes, but I will never do something like that ever again, so be smart about your future decisions in life because Somethings Do Happen For A Reason, Even If You Don't Think So! 

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE EPILEPTIC

On Saturday, November 14th after a late brunch in Bayside, we took a 4:28pm LIRR for 20 minutes to Penn Station and went to some places that Michelle wanted to show me like Bryant Park, which during this month and next for Christmas has about 30 to 40 booths, lots of sellers of ornaments mostly for tourists and an ice skating rink with a line of children wrapped around it. There is no Christmas tree yet there or in Rockefeller Center which made it easier to walk around without the over-crowded sidewalks and streets for a tree that is decorated the same every year. We walked around the Park and then to Lord & Taylor’s Christmas window displays under their gold lights which was beautiful.

After that Michelle knew a place that is open all year long, Christmas on 5th which is a very wide, long and Holy store with beautiful ornaments small and large as well as Nativity Scenes I do plan on purchasing, but we were short on time. Directly across the street was my favorite store - Barnes & Noble with a lot of movies and music - and vinyl’s on the second floor. I grabbed some books on the way out and onto St. Patrick’s Cathedral which had just been renovated beautifully all around, Michelle and I lit a few candles, said a few prayers and made some donations on its soon to be completion and then I noticed something on the right side of the church near the back - a Pieta’.

  A replica of Michelangelo’s who is widely regarded as the most famous artist of the Italian Renaissance. Among his works are the "David" and "Pieta" statues and the Sistine Chapel. Most of his work was done there in Rome where he passed away at the age of 88 in 1564. This one shone here though in New York is a little different and far less famous.

I purchased four prayer books in the gift shop and left. It was now 7:30 and we were off to our 8 o’clock dinner reservation at Ted’s Montana Grill, we reserved a booth because Michelle and I noticed from the past that there are only 6 booths and a reservation is necessary which I remembered and told her to call earlier. At 7:45 we were there and the booth was ready for us. After all of that walking I had not one problem from early in the day to Ted Turner’s Montana Grill when I noticed a saying from Ted Turner himself on the wall above us which reads: Do something. Either lead, follow or get out of the way. Funny, but true as well.

And then this happened on our way back home in Penn Station...

A problem which has happened 2 times before at different times and days, both in Penn Station. It was about 9:45pm and we were waiting for a 10:18pm train home that Michelle and I were trying to catch with hopes that this time, since the day had gone so well already walking around town – even though we were tired after leaving the restaurant, but not so much that we couldn’t walk back to walk off the food we had just ate.

We reached the station escalator fine, but as soon as we got on with people all around, I had a drop attack seizure and it seemed like I was up against a wall. More of a dream really; rather a nightmare. As I opened my eyes again finally I found 4 people, 2 couples - Good Samaritans - who had pulled me off of the escalator with my 200 pounds of dead weight which then felt like much more (a body soaked in water so to speak). Michelle could not have done it alone.

A woman had asked my wife, “Is he okay, he looks like he’s falling down” she grabbed her husbands’ arm across the escalator and Michelle told them I was having a seizure. I was then grabbed along by his friend/family member and they pulled off and sat me down on the ground. There were at that time people Michelle and I remember walking on by around me, they would have walked on me not caring if I was dead or not, just kicking me aside.

As I finally woke up I started to speak to them, dazed at what had just happened and yet being in Penn Station it was no surprise, more like a curse destined to happen. As I started to say thank you to them the first woman looking down at me, after Michelle had told them that I was ok, "he’s had a seizure, he’s been Epileptic for about 30yrs", said to me that she has family members with seizures too so they understood my problem, no need to explain. They had also called some cops over to help me up, 6 Officers arrived and they wanted to call an ambulance for me, but I told them to hold on and give me a minute.

As I stood up and took off my now dirty leather jacket I handed it over to Michelle and they had a stunned look on their faces, I recall. They looked me over and saw that I was not hurt and I said thank you anyway but I’ll be fine. Although not 100% and still a bit shaken-up an officer asked us where we were headed and walked us over to the seating area about 300ft away and asked the gentleman at the front-desk about our train time and what track we would be on. Michelle and I sat as the officer pointed and we waited for our train to come.

The two times prior this year, the second was after going to a NY Ranger game in Madisen Square Garden as we leaned against a wall away from everybody else that could get hurt from me I still dropped what I was holding and slid down the wall to my right, Michelle was to my left, as I had gotten up there was one cop there asking us if we wanted any help and we both said no. As I probably looked like a drunken fool, which I was not - I was all scuffed up from the dirty floor from my face to shoes, yet nobody this time cared to stop and lend a hand, just stepped away from me.

Not everybody is as generous all the time but there were a few the time before that when Michelle went to get our tickets home as I stayed standing behind her against the giant center pillars near the ticket booths when I slid off of that too. Michelle saw and ran over to me as well as some other people who stayed around me so that I did not get trampled over by a crowd rushing to a train that had been called until I got myself up again. I remember that those ladies that found me there had themselves or family members with the same issues. In Penn Station when a train is called, if you don’t know it is like – All hell breaks loose for a seat and death would have come of it!       

On the train home now that night I found us two seats opposite from each other, didn’t care as long as we had somewhere to sit and put our bags down.

Michelle and I learned something after that last dreadful fall, to never take the LIRR home again because it seems no matter what time of night it is or what great day we had in the city, it will not end well in Penn. So for that matter we will be taking an UBER Car Service home, which is beginning to replace NY Taxi cabs in the city, which I have no problem with. Something tells me that a $40 car/cab service is safer than injuring myself or others because people like the ones that found me lying on the ground will not always be there!

There will be more bad than good in your life - unfortunately. Just try to stay positive about your life and you just might get through the hell you may be living in, if it hasn’t found you yet!