SOMETHINGS ARE MEANT FOR A REASON, EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO!

Somethings indeed are meant for a reason and should truly be thought about or over or something bad may come of it. Again nobody knows when, why, where or what, but if you are smart you will learn that somethings may need to be thought over deeply when we find ourselves down on the ground, smashed face first with which could have been the end of our days alive!

For me this all occurred on October 29th when my wife was desperately wanting to leave at 9p.m. to a pumpkin festival in Old Westbury Gardens, LI, to see The Rise of The Jack O’Lanterns. Lets cut back three weeks to October 8th, the night my brothers Michael, his wife Despina and Anthony were supposed to meet us out at the park together as a group when situations started to occur. Apparently Despina was feeling sick, Michael wasn't feeling up to it, and Michelle and Anthony were the only ones wanting to go anyway. I refused myself on going that weekend as well, or at all, but she didn't give in to her temptation to go. But then and there just before we left I asked for a protein shake to make myself, something I always ask Michelle to make for me, but on that day, at that very moment before drinking it, I plastered myself from head to toe, and it was like pouring glue on myself. My arms, hands, and jeans where locked shut, and I was confused. Although my confusion turned bad when I heard the yelling. My wife stayed in the kitchen, my parents and brothers were called over to find out what the problem was, and found me soaked and quite angry, I removed my clothes in our bedroom and found myself hysterically crying in my corner bedroom leather chair. Everyone went home that day trying to figure me out; not an easy thing to do to for an epileptic. 

And this is the Point of the story, if I had given it a better thought this may not have happened, and if I was the size of my two younger brothers, Michael or Anthony, I for sure would have been killed off many times already. My other brother Chris as well, even though we are very close in size and shape, he would not be able to control these problems the way I do, for sure. But on Saturday, October 29th, was my first fall face down - I hit my chin, jaw, nose, forehead and knees. There were families - Good Samaritans - all around making sure that I was safe, yet bleeding from my almost broken chin and jaw, battered teeth  and nose. Before I was helped up I was worried about if any children or parents had been hurt by me. No one was, but Michelle had a slight cut on her left  knee from trying to grab me from behind.

I was was helped up with one of the guards walking on my right leg and limping on my left back to get attended to by a medical technician who said himself that “All these lights here and flashing phones and cameras for pictures is a seizure waiting to happen”. Michelle and I had told him that we had been here for three years now, but this time all the lights were way brighter then in the past. 

My chin was swollen, my inner bottom lip as well, my teeth, my jawline, my right arm and left knee hurting so bad that I couldn't tell for the life of me what was possibly  A. Broken  B. Smashed in (teeth) C. A bit off tongue and lip and D. A broken leg.

All things that are possible after a seizure like this happens and I remember being asked if we wanted to go back out there. Michelle and I yelled out, “Are you Crazy”!! Well Michelle did the talking, I did the look of, ‘Can we get the hell out of here now’, rolling my eyes of remorse to her. I was rolled out of the park to our car in a wheelchair with a medic holding an oxygen tank and a mask strapped over my face to breath through.  

 I was able to get into our car, with help by the medic, and there was only one thing going off in my mind, which was, ‘Why didn't I listen to the one who was trying to keep me home that day, why was I so foolish in making such wrong decisions, when the one that was trying to keep me safe that day was God’! This was not my idea, but I agreed to for my wife, even though I was tired already, would it of been such terrible idea to say no. NO, but she already spent money from a few weeks prior, I didn’t want her to waste money again, but is money ever a waste? It was nothing other then wasting a life away on a $30 pumpkin field trip!

All in all, when starting a new medication on top of the five already that I’m on, there is no stupider idea of doing something out of the ordinary when you know that horrible things may, and will happen by not trusting yourself in understanding that for epileptics and others of conditions, fighting away death is an everyday, every hour, every minute to second war!

You mustn't let the problem you suffer from beat you, especially when it has anything to do with your brain, which no doctor will ever understand the meaning of, besides God! 

And you can trust me mostly when I tell you that the Lord is on my side, and yours, because death could have come to me in so many different ways already, but I am here today, and will be tomorrow, with ways to keep you safe and away from trouble with stupid ideas of foolish for nothing activities. And if you are wondering still if I am in one piece, face included, I can tell you absolutely Yes, but I will never do something like that ever again, so be smart about your future decisions in life because Somethings Do Happen For A Reason, Even If You Don't Think So! 

SEIZURES, THANKING GOD, AND A RUBIK'S CUBE...

This is one of the most difficult things that any epileptic wants to hear. They will never be able to know what, why, where or when a seizure occurs. The worst thing that any family member, sibling or spouse could do is to get angry at a seizure, and that yelling causes and epileptic to do things so way out of the ordinary that people near you will get hurt as you place yourself in the corner of any room scared at what just happened like a child with arms crossed over their chest and worried about what else may happen.

And it’s never your fault!

Others may blame you for what you just did and continue with the agony put on your head, if you are younger you are probably stronger than the ones who stay with you, day by day - your caretakers. But, others will blame themselves for causing the problem to be worse and those are the ones that you appreciate forever for understanding your situation and they will say “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done this or that to make the seizure possibly worse”. You will feel at blame for your actions and most likely won’t remember what just happened, but others do, so ask them to explain in detail. You will say sorry, always, especially if someone did get hurt trying to keep you safe; and sometimes it can be bad; depending on the level of seizure.

If not we can thank God that the problem you may think you caused didn’t hurt the people around you - The people who watch over you - The people who love you!

You will thank God for things that you should thank God for. That you are alive, the ones you love are not hurt and come home to you every day. I tell my own family and others when they say things like, “Yes, thank God I found my car keys or thank God I found my cell phone”. I say, “Really, is that really what you want to thank God for, not that I’m still here and you're still here, that you woke up from bed this morning, but I can see that that must be very important to you”. And the best part is, nobody ever listens. You put the TV on and the first or last thing you hear in every sentence is Jesus Christ. If you are a religious person as most of you are, you should use his name in prayer or in church, by heart and never use it in vain.  

The Lord, our God was not sent down to us to have His name used in ridiculous ways but as our Savior Who was born and Who died for us. Who watches over us all the days of our lives and Who judges the living and the dead. If this is something that you have forgotten, then I pray for you to remember! I tell people who forgot or never knew themselves that there was one person here on earth who could and did cure the sick and the "demons" which were the epileptics. The deaf, the blind and all else, but the answer I get most sadly is “who?”. “His name was Jesus, have you ever heard of Him before?”.  Every day of my life, when I perform an action like getting up and walking to get a bottle of water or cup of coffee, I hate, but hear almost always, “Jesus Christ, what are you doing?”. And my reaction is always as I stop short, “First of all, I am not Jesus Christ, so stop and secondly, I only wish that I was so that I could stop all of the problems of the world, understand?”.    

This is something you can learn from and to teach others about what is going on in your head all day compared to others. Everybody knows what a Rubik’s Cube is, a 3-D combination puzzle invented in 1974 by a Hungarian sculptor and professor of architecture Erno Rubik, in which you have to get all six sides of different colors of the square together to an even and clean form, which some people say is an impossible game, but it is not so. There are literally 43 252 003 274 189 856 004 ways of solving the Rubik's Cube, so good luck. Now when you have figured that 3D combination out, compare that to the brain cells in a normal functioning brain. Take the Cube, scramble all the sides of the cube around in your hand to start the game over again and you now have the semi-functioning cells of an epileptic brain smacking into each other causing major problems that you need to figure out ways to control.

A Rubik’s Cube is a good puzzle for epileptics to keep their mind busy, put in control and away from things that trigger seizures from occurring. Once you figure that out you may be able to do things that you hadn’t thought before were possible keeping your mind straight. This is not something that you will hear from a neurologist because we need them for all of their studies and research.

And no neurologist will have any problem with you telling them what you do all day, what keeps you interested and busy. A hobby in life is one of the most important things to have. These are things they want you to do, how they want you to be and that you should be enjoying for a normal lifestyle. These stories are the stories that make them see that what they are doing is working for you too. If you can't share your life stories with them, either good or bad, how can a doctor help with anything that you may need them for!

And for an epileptic, that is alot!