SEIZURES, THANKING GOD, AND A RUBIK'S CUBE...

This is one of the most difficult things that any epileptic wants to hear. They will never be able to know what, why, where or when a seizure occurs. The worst thing that any family member, sibling or spouse could do is to get angry at a seizure, and that yelling causes and epileptic to do things so way out of the ordinary that people near you will get hurt as you place yourself in the corner of any room scared at what just happened like a child with arms crossed over their chest and worried about what else may happen.

And it’s never your fault!

Others may blame you for what you just did and continue with the agony put on your head, if you are younger you are probably stronger than the ones who stay with you, day by day - your caretakers. But, others will blame themselves for causing the problem to be worse and those are the ones that you appreciate forever for understanding your situation and they will say “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done this or that to make the seizure possibly worse”. You will feel at blame for your actions and most likely won’t remember what just happened, but others do, so ask them to explain in detail. You will say sorry, always, especially if someone did get hurt trying to keep you safe; and sometimes it can be bad; depending on the level of seizure.

If not we can thank God that the problem you may think you caused didn’t hurt the people around you - The people who watch over you - The people who love you!

You will thank God for things that you should thank God for. That you are alive, the ones you love are not hurt and come home to you every day. I tell my own family and others when they say things like, “Yes, thank God I found my car keys or thank God I found my cell phone”. I say, “Really, is that really what you want to thank God for, not that I’m still here and you're still here, that you woke up from bed this morning, but I can see that that must be very important to you”. And the best part is, nobody ever listens. You put the TV on and the first or last thing you hear in every sentence is Jesus Christ. If you are a religious person as most of you are, you should use his name in prayer or in church, by heart and never use it in vain.  

The Lord, our God was not sent down to us to have His name used in ridiculous ways but as our Savior Who was born and Who died for us. Who watches over us all the days of our lives and Who judges the living and the dead. If this is something that you have forgotten, then I pray for you to remember! I tell people who forgot or never knew themselves that there was one person here on earth who could and did cure the sick and the "demons" which were the epileptics. The deaf, the blind and all else, but the answer I get most sadly is “who?”. “His name was Jesus, have you ever heard of Him before?”.  Every day of my life, when I perform an action like getting up and walking to get a bottle of water or cup of coffee, I hate, but hear almost always, “Jesus Christ, what are you doing?”. And my reaction is always as I stop short, “First of all, I am not Jesus Christ, so stop and secondly, I only wish that I was so that I could stop all of the problems of the world, understand?”.    

This is something you can learn from and to teach others about what is going on in your head all day compared to others. Everybody knows what a Rubik’s Cube is, a 3-D combination puzzle invented in 1974 by a Hungarian sculptor and professor of architecture Erno Rubik, in which you have to get all six sides of different colors of the square together to an even and clean form, which some people say is an impossible game, but it is not so. There are literally 43 252 003 274 189 856 004 ways of solving the Rubik's Cube, so good luck. Now when you have figured that 3D combination out, compare that to the brain cells in a normal functioning brain. Take the Cube, scramble all the sides of the cube around in your hand to start the game over again and you now have the semi-functioning cells of an epileptic brain smacking into each other causing major problems that you need to figure out ways to control.

A Rubik’s Cube is a good puzzle for epileptics to keep their mind busy, put in control and away from things that trigger seizures from occurring. Once you figure that out you may be able to do things that you hadn’t thought before were possible keeping your mind straight. This is not something that you will hear from a neurologist because we need them for all of their studies and research.

And no neurologist will have any problem with you telling them what you do all day, what keeps you interested and busy. A hobby in life is one of the most important things to have. These are things they want you to do, how they want you to be and that you should be enjoying for a normal lifestyle. These stories are the stories that make them see that what they are doing is working for you too. If you can't share your life stories with them, either good or bad, how can a doctor help with anything that you may need them for!

And for an epileptic, that is alot!      

Epileptic Marriages

A major concern in many Epileptic lives after getting married is how to stay married!

First before we begin I want you to read a powerful entry in the New Testament:

A Reading from the Letter to the Hebrews chapter 13: 1-8

Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels. Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment, and of the ill-treated as of yourselves, for you also are in the body. Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers. Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have, for he has said, I will never forsake you or abandon you.

Thus we may say with confidence:

The Lord is my helper,

And I will not be afraid.

What can anyone do to me?

Remember the leaders who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. – The word of the Lord.

    In many lives, marriage’s get ruined because a man or a woman cannot deal with the other one’s problems. This is a major issue, especially for the person who’s watching you and all of your issues such as falling, bleeding, and seizures of all types. It is quite scary for your other half. Not working doesn’t help the situation either but, for our sake, sometimes it’s a must. Some of us after a marriage, by accident due to epilepsy become paralyzed, stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives or dead! Death by SUDEP (sudden unexpected death do to epilepsy) can happen to any epileptic which is not something I wish to share about, basically because any widow/er whose husband or wife passes away from a SUDEP incident has to simply mourn the loss of their loved one.

    The husband or wife that is not epileptic needs to, and should care and realize that the other may be in terrible condition, shape or feelings. Pain mostly that can not be seen by the other person, or that they will not be able to see what goes on inside the other one’s head, all day long!

    I know how difficult it is for anyone to watch the other one seizing from Petit Mals to Grand Mals and of all other sorts as well. My wife has a heart of gold because she fights through all of my problems more than any other person I have ever knew would. I did not marry her for all of that because, at the time of my marriage and before I was not having the problems I have today. These problems started happening right after our marriage and honeymoon and yet, for almost 5yrs now and going still she had to become a full time worker during the day and my wife/nurse at night. It is something very special about a person who has to put up with all of my rather hard to deal with issues sometimes, and yet does it very well by keeping her eyes on me always and everywhere. Not something that I am happy about but, do I have any other choice?

    Your spouse needs to be in better shape than you are hopefully to become your chef and house maid. I myself did not mind 7yrs ago with the cooking and help with the cleaning; vacuuming mostly. Being Italian as well I had to ask Michelle, my girlfriend at the time, if she was a good cook, not an okay cook but, a fabulous one it turned out to be. Barbecuing in the Spring, Summer and Fall was much more my specialty as all husbands usually are and that was taken away from me too.

    Therefore, my life consists of books mostly, reading all sorts from wherever and whenever they were published and music, yet not as often. Weekends only mostly. 

    Forgetting about my wife and I and back to a case such as yours, finding someone to drive you from here to there is another major concern. For the longest time in my life, since 2000 I had given up my Driver’s License, smartly after only 2yrs of driving. I did not feel as well as I had before, although stupidly others would rather not give up their Driver’s License instead of acquiring their Identification Card as I did and cause accidents and death to others and themselves. 

     Taking vacations with your spouse as you’ve done in your past with your families or not, is still necessary for the other to get out into world from being trapped most of the days, months and years of their lives! A honeymoon is a vacation but, a vacation the two of you find necessary after their wedding which is not true. The truth is for the two of you to find time to share with each others constant company, to know that you can deal with your spouse’s problems and issues. To be with that person on a 24/7 basis to know that you are and will give your life up for that person when and if necessary. That you will throw yourself in front of a bus or bullet for that person. That is what Love is!  

    For sure, a spouse may annoy the hell out of you, but that is a very common thing to happen. Is that any reason to leave the other person behind? No

    My wife and I worry about each other every second of everyday of our lives. She works in Manhattan. I am home which makes me most fearful knowing that I cannot run to her as I was able to do in our earlier years. For 13 hours or more a day I am not with her and it kills me to think about it over and over again. I am able to see my wife after work and before our bedtime for only about 4hrs until the next day begins all over again. Sure we take vacations, but not many. Over our seven plus years together we have only been on a few long vacations.  

    Everybody knows that a marriage is not cheap, not to say that you shouldn’t have one though because of your issues, that is a terrible thing to do or how to live. But, if you are lucky enough to find the right person to help you with your problems or difficult times, then I can only say Amen to that. If the person that you are with is afraid of you and your problems which I have seen personally, then that is not the right person for you, whatever it is you may have!