Epileptic Marriages

A major concern in many Epileptic lives after getting married is how to stay married!

First before we begin I want you to read a powerful entry in the New Testament:

A Reading from the Letter to the Hebrews chapter 13: 1-8

Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels. Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment, and of the ill-treated as of yourselves, for you also are in the body. Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers. Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have, for he has said, I will never forsake you or abandon you.

Thus we may say with confidence:

The Lord is my helper,

And I will not be afraid.

What can anyone do to me?

Remember the leaders who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. – The word of the Lord.

    In many lives, marriage’s get ruined because a man or a woman cannot deal with the other one’s problems. This is a major issue, especially for the person who’s watching you and all of your issues such as falling, bleeding, and seizures of all types. It is quite scary for your other half. Not working doesn’t help the situation either but, for our sake, sometimes it’s a must. Some of us after a marriage, by accident due to epilepsy become paralyzed, stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives or dead! Death by SUDEP (sudden unexpected death do to epilepsy) can happen to any epileptic which is not something I wish to share about, basically because any widow/er whose husband or wife passes away from a SUDEP incident has to simply mourn the loss of their loved one.

    The husband or wife that is not epileptic needs to, and should care and realize that the other may be in terrible condition, shape or feelings. Pain mostly that can not be seen by the other person, or that they will not be able to see what goes on inside the other one’s head, all day long!

    I know how difficult it is for anyone to watch the other one seizing from Petit Mals to Grand Mals and of all other sorts as well. My wife has a heart of gold because she fights through all of my problems more than any other person I have ever knew would. I did not marry her for all of that because, at the time of my marriage and before I was not having the problems I have today. These problems started happening right after our marriage and honeymoon and yet, for almost 5yrs now and going still she had to become a full time worker during the day and my wife/nurse at night. It is something very special about a person who has to put up with all of my rather hard to deal with issues sometimes, and yet does it very well by keeping her eyes on me always and everywhere. Not something that I am happy about but, do I have any other choice?

    Your spouse needs to be in better shape than you are hopefully to become your chef and house maid. I myself did not mind 7yrs ago with the cooking and help with the cleaning; vacuuming mostly. Being Italian as well I had to ask Michelle, my girlfriend at the time, if she was a good cook, not an okay cook but, a fabulous one it turned out to be. Barbecuing in the Spring, Summer and Fall was much more my specialty as all husbands usually are and that was taken away from me too.

    Therefore, my life consists of books mostly, reading all sorts from wherever and whenever they were published and music, yet not as often. Weekends only mostly. 

    Forgetting about my wife and I and back to a case such as yours, finding someone to drive you from here to there is another major concern. For the longest time in my life, since 2000 I had given up my Driver’s License, smartly after only 2yrs of driving. I did not feel as well as I had before, although stupidly others would rather not give up their Driver’s License instead of acquiring their Identification Card as I did and cause accidents and death to others and themselves. 

     Taking vacations with your spouse as you’ve done in your past with your families or not, is still necessary for the other to get out into world from being trapped most of the days, months and years of their lives! A honeymoon is a vacation but, a vacation the two of you find necessary after their wedding which is not true. The truth is for the two of you to find time to share with each others constant company, to know that you can deal with your spouse’s problems and issues. To be with that person on a 24/7 basis to know that you are and will give your life up for that person when and if necessary. That you will throw yourself in front of a bus or bullet for that person. That is what Love is!  

    For sure, a spouse may annoy the hell out of you, but that is a very common thing to happen. Is that any reason to leave the other person behind? No

    My wife and I worry about each other every second of everyday of our lives. She works in Manhattan. I am home which makes me most fearful knowing that I cannot run to her as I was able to do in our earlier years. For 13 hours or more a day I am not with her and it kills me to think about it over and over again. I am able to see my wife after work and before our bedtime for only about 4hrs until the next day begins all over again. Sure we take vacations, but not many. Over our seven plus years together we have only been on a few long vacations.  

    Everybody knows that a marriage is not cheap, not to say that you shouldn’t have one though because of your issues, that is a terrible thing to do or how to live. But, if you are lucky enough to find the right person to help you with your problems or difficult times, then I can only say Amen to that. If the person that you are with is afraid of you and your problems which I have seen personally, then that is not the right person for you, whatever it is you may have!