WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HOUSE-STRICKEN & STRONG
Make the best of what you have in your life because nobody knows what tomorrow will bring and it is usually worse than better. Being house-stricken and on a couch or being watched by everyone 24/7 is no way to live your life. As it is being wasted away hiding behind the bars you’ve made which others don’t see - causes rage. Somedays more uncontrollable then the ones before with hopes and dreams that someday this hell will end and yet it just continues and continues on and on and we are supposed to just smile and say that everything is okay, when you know that this life is terrible and the only thing is Nothing!
Because this is what they expect of you, to sit back and do not move. Makes them happy although you can or maybe not, but it is just all the same as long as they are happy and you are suffering, it doesn’t matter. Some of them care too much and you become a burden to them and of course they won’t ever admit it, but you catch them talking and saying how it is good to be free when so and so is not here. They may be a loving caretaker, but they wish to be free as well and I don’t see why they think that they are trapped like us at home when the truth is that it all drives us crazy in a stressful environment.
You can take that with a grain of salt because it is the most truthful thing that I have ever shared with anyone and now with Everyone!
I rise I fall, if I walk I am fine although if I stand for a minute, I fall. This recently happened to me on Monday, MY fault - leaning against a wall speaking to Michael, my brother with my grandmother standing behind him so I fell straight down smashing the floor again, this time I did think that my elbows, the right one mostly, was broken. I notice Michael standing there and my grandmother laughing behind him. I know that my other brothers, Chris and Anthony and my wife would have tried to catch me even if they weren’t able. I was down in pain, screaming in agony - hopefully you may never experience this. I rose up and in complete aggravation at her smiling at me and so I scared her away for the rest of the day by kicking the wall I was leaning against as Michael told her to leave. There is nothing worse than having someone laugh at you who doesn’t understand!
Lucky for me though my elbow’s where not shattered or broken as they felt, but bending them was still difficult. I sat in the chair that was behind me and waited for my mother to return from her 5 min trip she needed to take. I told her what happened of course after she saw me with swollen elbow’s, I needed to put ice on. My elbow’s where patched up that night with KT Tape Pro Elastic which has Kinesiology Therapeutic Synthetic on it for athletes and anyone in pain and works great for any body part.
There is something though that should never be forgotten which I have told myself since I was a young teenager and has kept me strong ever since which I just happened to find a picture of the other day for the first time. I believe this to be true for the strong willed like you and I. It goes like this:
YOU WERE GIVEN THIS LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO LIVE IT!
And don’t ever think anything less of yourself!
I have always told myself that I would not want this problem of mine to be cursed on my worst enemy and definitely no one in my family because I know that none of them would be able to withstand all the drama I’ve been put through. You hear all the time that there is no cure for this and for that like we did not know and it that supposed to make us happy? No. I am pretty sure that the 65 Million people living with Epilepsy on Earth have figured that out already for themselves.
You all know from my pictures, not all great looking, but I am still here after all the drama and still look the same as on my home page of my crazy life. Same guy still here for you. You have questions, I have most of the answers, lived through them over the past 4 years, but being as I said - House-Stricken - it has blinded me from the outside world; friends have to fill me in as well. I get what I need mostly from my family at parties because I’m not allowed to leave wherever I may be which is not many places!
NEWS FLASH
Money is nothing to me or to anybody really, you and I can be rich beyond belief and yet if would not change a thing about how our lives are or how we are treated by others. We will still be here getting stared down, no difference what so ever. Christopher Reeves, rich and could not help himself from falling off of a horse, breaking his spine and getting paralyzed. He is now gone. Michael J. Fox, rich and for the past 20 years has been battling Parkinson’s disease and is still acting, but behind the screen or interviews is extremely sad to watch. Money can not fix things, it just makes our doctors and their suppliers of medications and our hospitals richer because they don’t want us healthy living normal. They need us otherwise who is going to pay their salary and make them happy? Epilepsy has been around forever there’s no way that they haven’t found a cure for one of the 2 top major killers in the world, not a disease but something uncontrollable to the "lucky ones" that have it. I have an uncontrolled problem and I am stuck on a seat every minute of every hour and am told when called always to calm down and stay safe, relax!
I would love for someone to say just once to do something that I’m not already stuck at home doing. Just once would someone say “Hey Bruno, get off of that God-forsaken couch, open the door and go for a run, see if they can catch you” I know that they can’t, but who knows. It hasn’t been done in years, literally.
Is it so wrong to think that HOPEFUL thought for those who are House-Stricken and Strong, but even so a world without a cure is not the world we chose to live in.