BECOME YOUR OWN THERAPIST

This is a simple solution that will not involve paying a therapist for therapy that basically does not work. If you choose to see on that’s fine but, is it someone that you can see every day when you choose to get the people you are stuck home with out of your head. And I do mean out of your head! When you come to those days of being tormented by them and cannot find a way keep them from causing you much bigger issues that lead to in the end, death even. You cannot see a therapist whenever you choose to but, Art Therapy may help you even more then anything else.

I hadn’t thought would work either until my wife picked a few up for me, not that I was asking but, am glad now that she did. I always told her that I enjoyed drawing characters of all sorts from comics when I was younger and later in my college years trying to become a architect and got pulled out of school twice, from NYIT. Teachers had liked my drawings and sketches of models very much but, those days are over now and I have other interests in my life for others in need. So anyway, until that gets finalized not as of yet but will, I need to tell you about Art Therapy books. Pictures that others have drawn in black and white of all sorts of figures, comics, shapes and sizes laid out beautifully for you to color and paint if you wish with markers, pencils, artist watercolor pencils that turn your colored drawing into a painting by adding drops of water and spreading the paint around gently that releases the color vibrant when a wet brush is applied. When you are looking down on the paper, studying your artwork, it keeps your head in one place and one place only when being bothered by others screaming and making noise around you, lots of noise and stupidity that is not necessary! Make your own drawings on an easel and sketch paper from an art store if you wish to, whatever keeps your head on straight and in control of your own problems and predicaments. Most of these Art Therapy books though are for adults needing more therapy than a child but, there are therapeutic art books for children as well. some artist pens and pencils can be a bit pricey but, most of them are cheaper and work just as well as the more expensive ones. If you choose to use Crayola crayons, it can become very difficult for you and Crayola markers will dry-out quickly which is why you should use pens and pencils which are much more fine pointed when sharpened well, are much stronger and easier to hold and shaped as not to roll away either. The one brand that keeps me interested in my art work are Faber-Castell Art Set of pens, pencils and markers. A brand from Germany since 1761 and four generations later still being handmade in Germany by the same family manufacturer. Something that I do appreciate in the quality of a product.                     

Second thing that may work for you as well besides putting the television on as the others which is therapeutic is listening to music and reading comics. Music is simple and easy to put on whether it be on the radio in your car, in your home or on any devise you choose to play music off of from your phone, tablet, computer with headphones or without. From your home speakers off of a record player, CD player or any other devise you have in the house that you may enjoy listening from as well as headphones and music during an exercise routine you may have. Playing your music rather load is not a problem either but it may disturb others in your house or home. It is best to be played in your own vicinity, if it is available for you to do so.

Now reading a comic may sound stupid just because most people think that they are. Many comics are not for children to read but for adults as you and me. To read something funny indeed while looking at the pictures drawn on them is simple and joyful, which is why they were made in the first place, are they not. Many movies are made from a comic as well as what makes the most money in a theater from. Many are more serious then stupid which is why I have it on list of things that you can do to become your own therapeutic reader. A DC comic may have the NEW52 logo on the top right on it or a MARVEL comic will have the MARVEL NOW! logo below it. These are the new generation of comics which are mostly more for adults to enjoy. Some of these comics have a Parental Advisory! Not for kids! logo on them and which is very true. The whole world now know who the real DEADPOOL is, and the first character comic ever created by Stan Lee, CAPTAIN AMERICA.

Graphic novels, many by Frank Miller and many others is similar to a comic but, without words, just pictures and drawings. Some are rather long, and some are short but can be more enjoyable for some who would rather look at the artwork then reading the actual novel that it came from.

Third thing that helps, as long as it does not get to out of hand with others like gambling is Card Playing. Playing with family members during the day at home is a good way to pass the time and to keep yourself seated and your mind in one place. It works well as long as nobody gets to into the yelling and angry part of it. Card Playing with your siblings, other family members and even your parents is a great help. If not play solitaire on your own if you must, but not on your phone which leads to seizures almost instantly. My own favorites to play are Poker, Black Jack and Rummy, simple games that becomes quite addicting which is not a bad thing to be addicted too, as long as you can find a partner to play along with. The classic children’s games are Old Maid, Go Fish and War, the simplest of games to play with a 52card deck as seen here. There are literally thousands of games to play from every other country with playing cards of all different types, shapes and sizes, larger ones even to be able to see the card better, if you need the help too.           

And finally back to Meditation as is the last but, most gracious thing that you can do every morning by prayer and picking up a Bible, a Weekday Missal and a Sunday Missal and start reading it day by day, whatever time you choose to. Personally I choose mornings because it just seems the right time for me or anyone suffering from a condition or not to read the Word of God everyday. And who better is it to start of your day with than God and Jesus Christ himself for the first 15minutes of your day. A daily Missal is a true use for meditation, and I have said always that if you cannot bring yourself to church every Sunday because you are afraid that something bad might happen, then bring the faith in God home to you and become your own priest and visitor. This is not condemned by God, nothing is, besides causing sinful actions to yourself or others. You do not have to read the Bible unless you choose too, but the entries in a Missal are taken from the Bible which makes it a rather easy treatment to give to yourself. This though, is recommended to be done alone, so wherever you are or with needs to give you privacy in a room and if not, use the meditation on your own behalf, however it may have to be. Not everyone follows the word of God and that’s okay too, we all make our own decisions in life but, for those who do, it’s a good way to start your day off right! Many digital versions of the Bible are available and most are for free. The King James Version has a KJV Listener's Bible with it as well, with it, since 2007 from the Fellowship for the Performing Arts which is well spoken for those who wish to listen and pay attention. The man speaking sounds a lot like Anthony Hopkins with a strong British voice, especially when speaking as the Lord God! Whoever the speaker actually is, he makes it enjoyable to listen too and fallow.

So in the end there are ways to becoming your own therapist, not to being bothered by others who may drive you crazy all day long from Art Therapy, to music and Adult Comic books, to Graphic Novels and Card Playing and in the end, Meditation. Enjoy!

HOPE AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

     Onfi, Fycompa, Aptiom, Dilantin and Prozac

    For those of you out there looking for a happy ending to all of their sad stories as I was, there is Hope! Epilepsy is not a sad ending to a terrible life if that’s what you have or had in mind. Lord knows I did. For 26 years I have been messed up on meds, many different neurologists and every medication that there is still on the market. I was even a guinea pig many times for two medications including, which I am still on - Onfi and Fycompa at NYU Epilepsy Center for a week or two each over these past two years.

    I had thought for sure that this damn problem of mine was a lost cause and that I was to end up the rest of my life on mine and my parents couch, seat, chair, whatever I could sit on safely on and not injuring anybody because of my falling issues, as well as without a job either for the rest of my life. Not that it is any different yet today, still living day by day.  

   Here in New York and elsewhere you need to be totally seizure free for a year to drive, not that I blame them, nor do I wish to ever again anyway with all of the crazy drivers on the road, but, a full-time job I would appreciate deeply. Being seizure free to work again has to be approved by your doctor. New York, being Epileptic, is one of the harshest states in America and the world even. Not that I can blame them either for it because states like Texas allow you to drive again just after three months. Sooner if your doctor approves it. So all you cowboys get to jump back into your Ford F150 Super Duty’s much quicker if your brain allows it to. Most states allow the same, some do not even have monthly standards, Just a doctors approval.

    But, finally though, after all of these years there is ‘A light at the End of the Tunnel’ like they say. All hope is not lost as I thought for so long. Every year on New Year’s Eve I’ve wished for the same New Year’s Resolution. Not for a bicycle, car or toy but, ‘that one day this would all stop and go away’. Not totally but, that someone, someday would find the right dose, combination to settle my brain waves from acting up like crazy. Much more than a person without any problems.

This year though, I seemed to have finally got my wish!

    Am I an Epileptic for life, most certainty. Will I have seizures like I did in the past when I was growing up and able to work with, yes. There is no cure for one of the oldest problems that man-kind has ever had. But, finding the right dose of medications, something that I thought I would never find, can be. Many say that I am jumping too far ahead or that it is just a honeymoon affect or period. The honeymoons over! How far ahead do I have to look forward to since December 15th when all hell broke loose, almost killing me. Two months later although, I am still feeling fine, more than 95% better than before that crazy day!

    Not difficult to say but I never want to see myself in another ambulance, ever again or in another hospital bed as well! Call me crazy but, whofor that matter would like too.

No one.

    I used to call every bathroom, restroom or shower anywhere at any place a Death Trap! My parent’s house mostly was a different fall like no other place on Earth. As soon as I stepped in I fell. If I sat I fell, and if not, washing my hands surely dropped me down to the ground. And thank God as well that this has all almost stopped too. Unbelievable but true although, I keep myself safe as in wearing a helmet still if I am in my house or home.

   As well as I feel, this will not stop me from my semi-daily work of keeping up with my blogs, keeping up with my stories which are all sadly true as well as keeping my followers interested. Once again I am not healed or cured, nor will I ever be but, with the right medications, there just might be hope for you too!

    So There is Hope at the End of the Tunnel. May take some time, lots and lots of time unfortunately, but, possibly by tests, or not, you may find the right doctors with the right medications or answers to your problems is possible!       

Epileptic Marriages

A major concern in many Epileptic lives after getting married is how to stay married!

First before we begin I want you to read a powerful entry in the New Testament:

A Reading from the Letter to the Hebrews chapter 13: 1-8

Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels. Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment, and of the ill-treated as of yourselves, for you also are in the body. Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers. Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have, for he has said, I will never forsake you or abandon you.

Thus we may say with confidence:

The Lord is my helper,

And I will not be afraid.

What can anyone do to me?

Remember the leaders who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. – The word of the Lord.

    In many lives, marriage’s get ruined because a man or a woman cannot deal with the other one’s problems. This is a major issue, especially for the person who’s watching you and all of your issues such as falling, bleeding, and seizures of all types. It is quite scary for your other half. Not working doesn’t help the situation either but, for our sake, sometimes it’s a must. Some of us after a marriage, by accident due to epilepsy become paralyzed, stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives or dead! Death by SUDEP (sudden unexpected death do to epilepsy) can happen to any epileptic which is not something I wish to share about, basically because any widow/er whose husband or wife passes away from a SUDEP incident has to simply mourn the loss of their loved one.

    The husband or wife that is not epileptic needs to, and should care and realize that the other may be in terrible condition, shape or feelings. Pain mostly that can not be seen by the other person, or that they will not be able to see what goes on inside the other one’s head, all day long!

    I know how difficult it is for anyone to watch the other one seizing from Petit Mals to Grand Mals and of all other sorts as well. My wife has a heart of gold because she fights through all of my problems more than any other person I have ever knew would. I did not marry her for all of that because, at the time of my marriage and before I was not having the problems I have today. These problems started happening right after our marriage and honeymoon and yet, for almost 5yrs now and going still she had to become a full time worker during the day and my wife/nurse at night. It is something very special about a person who has to put up with all of my rather hard to deal with issues sometimes, and yet does it very well by keeping her eyes on me always and everywhere. Not something that I am happy about but, do I have any other choice?

    Your spouse needs to be in better shape than you are hopefully to become your chef and house maid. I myself did not mind 7yrs ago with the cooking and help with the cleaning; vacuuming mostly. Being Italian as well I had to ask Michelle, my girlfriend at the time, if she was a good cook, not an okay cook but, a fabulous one it turned out to be. Barbecuing in the Spring, Summer and Fall was much more my specialty as all husbands usually are and that was taken away from me too.

    Therefore, my life consists of books mostly, reading all sorts from wherever and whenever they were published and music, yet not as often. Weekends only mostly. 

    Forgetting about my wife and I and back to a case such as yours, finding someone to drive you from here to there is another major concern. For the longest time in my life, since 2000 I had given up my Driver’s License, smartly after only 2yrs of driving. I did not feel as well as I had before, although stupidly others would rather not give up their Driver’s License instead of acquiring their Identification Card as I did and cause accidents and death to others and themselves. 

     Taking vacations with your spouse as you’ve done in your past with your families or not, is still necessary for the other to get out into world from being trapped most of the days, months and years of their lives! A honeymoon is a vacation but, a vacation the two of you find necessary after their wedding which is not true. The truth is for the two of you to find time to share with each others constant company, to know that you can deal with your spouse’s problems and issues. To be with that person on a 24/7 basis to know that you are and will give your life up for that person when and if necessary. That you will throw yourself in front of a bus or bullet for that person. That is what Love is!  

    For sure, a spouse may annoy the hell out of you, but that is a very common thing to happen. Is that any reason to leave the other person behind? No

    My wife and I worry about each other every second of everyday of our lives. She works in Manhattan. I am home which makes me most fearful knowing that I cannot run to her as I was able to do in our earlier years. For 13 hours or more a day I am not with her and it kills me to think about it over and over again. I am able to see my wife after work and before our bedtime for only about 4hrs until the next day begins all over again. Sure we take vacations, but not many. Over our seven plus years together we have only been on a few long vacations.  

    Everybody knows that a marriage is not cheap, not to say that you shouldn’t have one though because of your issues, that is a terrible thing to do or how to live. But, if you are lucky enough to find the right person to help you with your problems or difficult times, then I can only say Amen to that. If the person that you are with is afraid of you and your problems which I have seen personally, then that is not the right person for you, whatever it is you may have!